I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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