You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
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