If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
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