so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
Randomize
