I want to have your abortion
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
I need to sanitize my soul.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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