just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
Randomize
