Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
