I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
birth control should be required to get into college
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Randomize
