Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Randomize
