Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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