the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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