I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
