you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Randomize
