the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
You ever have a fart follow you around?
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