I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
