For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
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