This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
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