he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
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