Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
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