I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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