To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
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