ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
