He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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