tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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