I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Randomize
