no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
