eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
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