I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
Randomize