ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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