The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
Do you have feelings for this penis?
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Randomize
