my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Randomize
