Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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