Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Randomize
