His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
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