dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
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