GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
