Its about making memories worth repressing
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize