is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Randomize
