there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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