I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
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They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
that may or may not have been my penis.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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