If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
