I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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