is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
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