Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
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