I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
where are you?
Hypothermia
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
