where does the pee come out of this thing
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Randomize
