I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Randomize
