Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
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