u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Randomize
