I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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