I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
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Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
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