she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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