Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
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