The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
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