I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
Randomize