Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Randomize
