dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
