He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
