Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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