The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
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You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
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