just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
Houston, we have a squirter
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
Randomize
